We’re not saying there’s a small part of us that wants to arrange our summer getaways around July’s new film releases, but with a line-up like this, the coming days might find us wildly toggling between the Cineworld and destinations tabs.
You want comedy, adventure, family films, grown-up films, horror and thrillers? It’s all laid out, like a jaunty row of striped deckchairs…
And with staycations getting more popular by the year, we’ll say what no one else is saying: the reason they’re a good idea is because you can go to the cinema on home turf and not miss a single new release.
Let’s unpack July’s cinematic treats…
Oh, but before we do, consider this. Grab Cineworld Unlimited membership, and you won’t have to decide which films you’ll be booking for because you can watch them all, as many times as you want. This works out as less than the cost of two cinema tickets a month. And don’t forget it also gets you access to a ton of other perks, not least 10% off snacks and drinks for your screening. That’s our kind of holiday right there.
Minions & Monsters (July 1)
With enough slapstick to tickle anyone’s fancy, the new Minions movies promise mayhem, minxing, and a fresh new take on the little yellow fellas. Minions as movie moguls we never thought we’d see, but in Minions & Monsters, they occupy their new roles with panache.
Instead of setting it in the modern day, the filmmakers take us right back to the 1920s and a world of old-time Hollywood, with roaming elephants, runaway steam trains and even a bit of film noir.
But what is unmistakably evident in bucketloads is the frenetic fun and giggle cluster action. Especially when things get out of control as they dream up and conjure a monster of magnitudinous proportions, which threatens to flatten all of Hollywood.
You know what you’re in for with a Minions film; a rollicking good time with laughter aplenty. Papoy!
BOOK MINIONS & MONSTERS TICKETS
The Invite (July 3)
Sometimes you don’t know you’re thirsting for a grown-up, adult-themed film you can relate to, especially one that’s laced with enough dark comedy to make you laugh your socks off. That’s what The Invite promises, and we’re eager to book our seats.
Seth Rogen and Olivia Wilde play couple-in-trouble, Joe and Angela, who invite the couple who live upstairs down for dinner. Penelope Cruz and Edward Norton play the intriguing Pina and Hawk, who proceed to make a surprising invite of their own.
Co-written by actress and filmmaker Rashida Jones, it’s a remake of the Spanish film The People Upstairs, and Olivia Wilde directs as well as stars.
Evil Dead Burn (July 9)
The latest Evil Dead offering opens in the calm before the bloody, deadly storm. A recently widowed woman holes up in her out-in-the-sticks family home to grieve with her nearest and dearest. Then it all turns to hell as one by one, each loving family member becomes a Deadite.
Another stand-alone for the franchise, Evil Dead Burn follows Evil Dead and Evil Dead Rise. It’s a nasty, violent ride from a perfect family to all hell unleashed. Prepare to be scorched.
Rosebush Pruning (July 10)
Another comedy, this time satirical with a touch of tragedy and thriller. If you like that mix of genres, then you’ll love that it’s backed up with a super-strong cast list comprising Callum Turner, Elle Fanning, Jamie Bell and Pamela Anderson.
Layer this solid casting with a tale of a rich, perverse family, all centring around the eldest son (Jamie Bell), whom they all seem to be rather over-involved with, and it sounds like a goer. It’s told from the perspective of his new girlfriend, whom he brings home for what sounds like an eye-opening first visit.
If you like the look of this film, book quickly: it has a limited screening and won’t be around for long. Catch it before it goes.
Moana (live action) (July 10)
Even if they didn’t know they needed it, the minds of the girl and boy Moana fans will be blown at this live-action version. From 2D animation to 3D human form their heroes literally spring to life in front of their eyes.
Filled out and flourishing, the ocean world of Moana is vibing with life, adventure and jeopardy as we follow Catherine Laga’aia as the spirited Moana and Dwayne Johnson as the shape-shifting demi-god. Watching them spark off each other is an absolute delight.
The musical numbers are rousing, as you might expect from songwriter Lin-Manuel Miranda. Good, all-round family fun and a great choice for summer.
The Odyssey (July 17)
Yes, yes, we love the Marvel universe. We get excited years in advance when there’s news of a new Star Wars movie. But sometimes we need a break from our favourites to keep things fresh. Sometimes, along comes a blockbuster adventure film that blows everything else out of the water. The Odyssey could be that film.
It’s an audacious idea to take a 2,700-year-old poem and make it into a film for 21st-century audiences. But the stories in those words! The journeys, the monsters, the characters! And the cast!!
We have Matt Damon as Odysseus, a war hero trying to return home after years of fighting. We have Anne Hathaway as his wife, who has to fend off suitors, right, left and centre. We have Tom Holland as the son, searching for his father. And everyone you love to watch is in this film: Robert Pattinson, Zendaya, Charlize Theron. The list is long.
Not a Christopher Nolan fan? Doesn’t matter. Forget we mentioned him. This is a big-budget, IMAX-shot story stuffed with myths, heroes, drama, action, and huge spectacle. It could be the one. The film of the summer. You know it. Go see it.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day (July 31)
Brand-new day, brand-new story, brand-new Spidey. This is a new starting off point for our webbed hero. Tom Holland has thrown the word “puberty” around because it’s like the character is starting all over again in this outing.
In Spider-Man: No Way Home the only way he could save everyone was to make everyone forget about him. So in Brand New Day, he’s truly alone, acting solo, and much more street-level, as in fighting on the pavements of New York. Which means many more villains – you can’t move in this movie for baddies!
There’s even rumours that the Hulk and Spider-Man have a fight. Now that we can’t wait to see.
Love the sound of ALL of these new releases? Buy an Cineworld Unlimited membership and you’ll get endless viewing pleasure. (Sounds holidayish to us!)
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